thinking about rob

a friend of mine from moscow named rob has been struggling with cancer for the past year, and is now in severe liver failure. rob and i were never very close, but he was eli's best friend, so we had plenty of interaction, and it's so weird to think about him dying. i hate the truth that people as young as we are are very capable of death, of getting cancer. i'm terrified of cancer. i don't understand it and i don't want to imagine myself or my loved ones going through what rob and his family are going through now. he is in my thoughts.

September:
Rob is gone now.

Boobs@Bard

what do you think of this? i'm not sure what inspires the creation of such a thing. is it some ass thinking, "hey, i wonder how many girls will show me their tits on here if i make up this random website" or something more along the lines of "let's be empowered and comfortable with our bodies"?

some of these seem to be coming from a pro-female body / empowered / celebration-of-self idea:

...but others seem more girls gone wild-esque, which makes me uncomfortable.

like this one, which has the caption "TWINS!":

or this one:

not quite two weeks

so, i went out with liz, sam, and anna last night and had some drinks at this lovely japanese restaurant downtown. also got fast food for lunch. also was half an hour late to an hour-long meeting... but at the end of the day i felt quite nice (drunk, too) and not regretful.

i'm listening to cuts from tegan&sara's demo recording of the con, which is by far my favorite album of theirs. i wish i had the demo version too, but they only sold it for a limited time for charity. maybe i can find it on ebay or something. i'm sad that i didn't get a chance to go to their shows this time around... hopefully they'll release an album in the next year or two right on the heels of sainthood. i don't even like sainthood much.

i like sara's hair in the video for "call it off." i think it would be a good cut to do while i keep growing my hair out, since it has no style right now and that's getting annoying.

here we go again

i think i'm getting in over my head with work. perhaps this is a way to make up for my declining academic motivation? last semester, i hardly worked at all. for rent and food, i relied on the check from my mom. while certainly sufficient, that routine left me with less spending money and nothing toward savings. (it also left me with excellent grades.) now that anna and i are trying to save for tickets for greece this summer, i want to be putting more towards savings. i also love my $4.65 drink at starbucks, which is unjustifiable without a paycheck that can be used -- in part -- for frivolity. so the fact that i've taken on more hours at work isn't just to cover up my insecurities about this semester's academics. it is partly that, though, i guess.

tonight's shift was with a little girl named Abby. adorable until it was time for bed, and then less adorable but not too bad. we played an elaborate game involving an ariel umbrella, tinkerbell beanbag, beanie baby bear, and some pillows. we also watched the new tinkerbell movie, and i have to say -- not too bad! while tink's everyday wear hasn't improved from her peter pan costume...

then: ...and now:

...she does have an interesting new outfit that she wears on her solo adventure (for which she abandons her boyfriend):

anyway, i found the movie to be pretty damn cute (though my expectations were low -- was imagining something along the lines of the 3D animated barbie movies that started coming out in the early 2000s). also, they took her name "Tinker" and made her an actual tinker, one who builds machines a la Belle's father, Maurice. she's quite the renaissance man fairy.

academic negligence...

what is up with me missing so much class this semester? have i gotten cocky, thinking i can keep my grades up missing class once or twice a week? this is not good. i really need to do well this semester -- i don't know what's gotten into me. this morning i had to have anna drop me off at class because i woke up at exactly 10:00 (when class starts), so i was ten minutes late for a 50-minute class. maybe while i'm doing the 2 weeks of sobriety, i should do 2 weeks of not missing class, too.

kittenz

also, here's a video we took of Kitten last night:


proof that she is satan.

a break

it's time to take a break from alcohol and mcdonald's. it's not like i've been drinking all that much; it just feels like time to remove that variable from my life for a little while and focus on important things. as far as mcdonald's goes -- well, first of all, i feel a little guilty about the health factor. more importantly, though, if i'm getting fast food often, it means that i'm not making time to sit down and have real meals. quality time with myself and/or others to eat and enjoy the food is good for me, and i know the consequences of not doing it.